


Burnout

by peachyparu



Series: Diakko Bawling Over University [2]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling, F/F, Gifted Kid Burnout, Hurt/Comfort, STEM Major Akko, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29175159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyparu/pseuds/peachyparu
Summary: The only straight Akko had ever been was a straight-A student. But that was high school. Now she has a hard time accepting whether or not she deserved some stuff.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Series: Diakko Bawling Over University [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055099
Comments: 19
Kudos: 111





	Burnout

**Author's Note:**

> “what? Smart Akko? Y,.you can’t do that.... Akko has 2int.”
> 
> Me: hahahahahaha stem kid akko go brrrr

Akko kicked back into her seat with a sigh of relief. Exams were done. There was no need to stress about them anymore. Hallelujah. Did she bomb half of them? Most likely. The most important thing is that she finally got them over with. 

So why did she feel so incompetent. 

So incredibly stupid?

She didn’t deserve to be in such a prestigious university. She just got lucky during high school. _Incredibly_ lucky. She graduated with a 94 average and was placed in high honour roll.

With a sigh, Akko closed her laptop, not even bothering to reply to the discord messages she received, congratulating her for finishing her first semester of university. After all, failure should never be celebrated. Akko recalled her mother’s words almost vividly. 

It was the night Akko received her acceptance letter to LNU, one of the most prestigious universities in Canada. With an entrance scholarship, nonetheless. However, the program she had gotten accepted to wasn’t the one she applied for. It was stated on the letter that she was accepted for an alternate program. Akko didn’t really mind though. After all, the physics program was the closest she could get to majoring in astronomy. Plus, it didn’t hurt that it was the same school her idol went to. 

Even so, Akko always found a way during high school. And she did good. _Really_ good for someone who avoided taking Adderall the entirety of high school. However, she is. tended to leave things until the last minute, and sometimes did her homework and assignments the morning they were due, right before breakfast. She even managed to get away with studying the night before exams. And for a long time, Akko was comfortable with her performance in school and saw no issue. After all, the only straight she’s ever been was a straight A student (haha…). So what’s the point in exerting so much effort when you already understand the concept?

Well, _welcome to University_ , where your professors don’t give a shit about properly teaching you. 

It took only two weeks for Akko to get behind on all her classes. Two weeks until she was deemed the university’s “school dunce.” Until she realized maybe she has to take Adderall after all. But she hated it. She hated how it made her feel. It always made her lose her appetite, or sleepless or… in general, shitty. She didn’t like being told to take them too. She didn’t like being treated like a baby. Either way, she had enough of them after a few days. 

Akko didn’t like asking for help either. It was bad enough as it is that she used unauthorized aid during assignments—but the fact that symbolab and desmos barely helped her understand?

_Pathetic._

_“This isn’t to be celebrated, Atsuko. You were rejected,” Okaasan set aside the letter Akko had given her. She didn’t even look her own daughter in the eye._

_Akko shifted in her seat at the dining table as she peered over to her father, who plastered on a similar expression of disappointment as her mother. She leaned back into her seat, hoping to disappear from this entire conversation._

_She licked her lips, careful with the manner in which she used her tone. “I got an entrance scholarship too. A, um, $5000 one upon acceptance. That’s good, right?” Akko pursed her lips, wanting nothing but to be validated by her parents. Ridiculous, right?_

_It was a hard school to get into, after all. And the fact that she managed to get in with a scholarship, despite her horrible sleep schedule, despite not taking her pills, and despite her motivation to stay on top of her work absolutely plummeting._

_It was hard to stay on top when the closest people to you expected, required you to be more than what you’re capable of._

_Okaasan sighed, setting down her chopsticks before narrowing her eyes at her daughter. “Your average right now is below 95. This is why you didn’t get accepted into the Astronomy program. Are you even trying, Atsuko?”_

_She gulped. Her mouth fell dry, despite having finished her glass of water already. She didn’t feel like touching her food anymore. Even if it was her favourite dish—salmon teriyaki. Akko averted her eyes from her mother, staring at the half-eaten meal before her that she immediately felt like she no longer deserved._

_“I’m—I am. I have been,” Akko lied. Half-lied. She wanted to, but she was tired. She’s been tired for a while now, but that’s never been an excuse._

_“No. No you’re not. You’re not trying enough.?” Okaasan had said. And she was right. She also asked if Akko had been taking her pills. Had been getting proper sleep. Had been eating healthy. But she lied._

_Okaasan seemed to have abandoned her meal as well, as she stared down at Akko. Her eyes, although Akko can tell a part of her was concerned for her daughter, who grew silent upon receiving the questions, her mother’s eyes told her she was nothing but a failure._

Akko had been seated at her chair for the past hour, contemplating everything she’s been doing wrong. Did she even deserve to be in the physics program? Should she consider transferring majors? Perhaps she shouldn’t have gotten too ambitious and enrolled into the number one university in the country. She should’ve acknowledged the fact that the school had the highest suicide rate as well and took all the negative experiences other students had into account before accepting, but Akko’s pride got the best of her, as always.

So what was she going to do? Continue to barely survive over calculus? Accept that she’d always be a 2.3 GPA student? Get up to 4 hours of sleep every single night?

Akko wanted to transfer. 

But it wasn’t an option.

_“This is what you want, right?” Okaa-san asked her as she helped Akko unpack in her dorm._

_Akko clumsily set a box down and faked a smile. “Yeah, of course! Not only is it the university Chariot went to, but #1 in all of Canada? Imagine all the bragging rights,” she let out a laugh before flopping into her bed._

_“Good. Because if it gets hard, there’s no quitting.”_

_Akko dismissed her mother’s statement with a snort. But when she glanced over, she realized Okaasan wasn’t joking._

_“I’m serious, Akko. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. There’s no transferring, no dropping out, absolutely none of that. If this is what you want, there’s no quitting.”_

_Akko took a moment to let that sink in. She knew it was going to be hard. But how hard could it possibly be? She was in AP Calc, she passed the AB calculus exam with a 4 without even properly studying. There’s no way it was going to be that different from high school._

_“Plus, the tuition, alongside this dorm is expensive. We’re lucky enough as it is that you got a scholarship.”_

_Carefully, Akko sat up on the bed. She nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ promise, Okaasan.”_

_Okaasan stepped towards her and pressed a gentle kiss to her daughter’s forehead. She placed a hand on Akko’s cheek, then pulled her into her arms. “I am so proud of you.”_

I am so proud of you.

Akko constantly made jokes about how she’d never make her parents proud. How she was useless. But they’d never outright said it. To tell you the truth, she deserved being told that instead. 

There was nothing to be proud of. Not if it involved Akko.

Akko jolted up in her computer chair to the abrupt sound of a soft knock. She stayed still for a mere moment, contemplating as to whether or not her mind was playing tricks on her. She was a little sleep deprived, after all. She wouldn’t be surprised if she imagined that knock. For a moment, it was quiet. Until the knocking returned, a little louder than the last time. 

Immediately rubbing at her eyes at a poor attempt to conceal any evidence of sleep deprivation and crying, she made her way towards the door and hesitated as she placed her hand on the knob.

Did she really want someone to see her like this?

On one hand, it could just be Lotte, who’d dismiss the girl’s disheveled appearance. On another, it could be Amanda, who’d tease her relentlessly. She bit her lip and felt her self esteem die down a little as she recalled the dunce jokes that were made about her. Sure, Amanda had meant them in a loving manner—teasing was her way of showing affection after all. And Akko never had the heart to tell her how _incompetent_ they made her feel. And man, they made her feel _bad._

Just as her head began to spiral once again, a gentle voice from the opposite side of the door brought her back to reality.

“Akko? It’s me. You’ve completed the exam, yes?” 

It was Diana.

Slowly, Akko stepped out of her chair and made her way towards the door. Hesitantly, she placed her hand on the doorknob, and for a moment, she considered pretending to be asleep. 

But at the same time… it was Diana. 

So Akko unlocked the door and turned the knob.

“Plums,” Diana said with a smile once Akko opened the door. Akko was exhausted, and her mind wasn’t functioning properly enough for her to comprehend what the other girl meant, so she blinked back at her.

“Huh?”

Diana cleared her throat, before Akko had realized she was holding a jar of pickled plums. Her favourite. “I—It’s been an awful stressful month. The other day you were going on about how you haven’t had some pickled plums in a while...so I figured…” Diana sheepishly smiled, before offering Akko the jar of pickled plums.

“You got these for me?”

“Yes. You haven’t behaved as your… usual lively self lately. Was I wrong to assume this would raise your mood, considering you’ve completed your exams and all?” 

Akko looked at Diana in awe. She thought about her? She went out of her way to get these pickled plums for her? She didn’t know whether she wanted to tackle Diana with a hug and shower her with affection, or to breakdown over the thought of being awarded over something as silly as finishing her exams. After all, what if she bombed it? What if she didn’t deserve this.

Akko had no idea she was tearing up.

“I—I didn’t mean to… Akko, are you alright?” Diana stammered. She quickly placed the jar in one of her arms and used the other to hesitantly reach out towards the crying girl.

Out of instinct, Akko softly swatted Diana’s hand aside, muttering an apology. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize I was…” She paused, losing train of thought as she locked eyes with Diana, whose face was full of concern. Akko averted her eyes. “Sorry, I… I don’t want to talk about the exams. Thanks, Diana, really.” She turned back with a solemn smile.

Diana looked back at her. Akko tried to look to the side, scared that the blonde would read her expression, and thus, read her thoughts. Then, Diana took one of Akko’s hands into her own and pulled her into a hug.

Akko clutched onto Diana’s shoulders and let out a sob. She didn’t want to, but she cried. Yeah, Akko tended to be emotional a lot, but she’s never been _this_ vulnerable around others as often. And despite all her effort in containing her tears, she couldn’t. So she nestled herself into Diana’s collarbone and let it all out. 

After a moment, Diana slowly stepped inside and carefully untangled herself from Akko to close the door. She brushed a strand of Akko’s hair back into place, set the jar of pickled plums Akko had completely forgotten about on her desk, then pulled the short girl back into an embrace. A very much needed one.

The tears were all gone. But the desire for comfort wasn’t.

She didn’t want Diana to be wasting her time like this. To be Akko’s shoulder to cry on. To burden her like this. Akko considered her options. Ask Diana to leave so she can wallow on her own, just as she deserves and cry over how incompetent she is. 

Or.

She looked back up at the girl, who looked at her as though she was _anything else_ but incompetent. 

“Stay with me?” Akko silently asked. 

And so Diana did. After a few sniffles, Akko was now seated on her twin-sized bed, leaning on Diana’s shoulder. They talked. About anything. Everything. Anything that wasn’t related to the exams.

Diana talked about how difficult it was finding pickled plums that actually taste _good_. How she resorted to making her own in the dormitory’s kitchen. How she practically created a mess that almost got her in trouble. The two laughed. But Akko continued to have thoughts that made her feel as though she didn’t deserve Diana.

“Why’d you go through all that trouble? I probably didn’t even pass my exams and totally don’t deserve this,” Akko half joked. Diana looked at her with a somber expression. Akko’s smile faded away.

“Akko…” Diana sighed.

Akko looked away.

The two have had conversations like this before. Diana was very much aware of Akko’s issues with her self esteem. It was no surprise that Diana was the first to find out about Akko’s straight A past and the fact that she got into the university with a scholarship with her grades. Along with that, they also bonded over the expectations they had to live up to in their respective households.

Obviously, Diana had a significantly heavier weight to bear on her shoulders, but she would never let Akko invalidate her own problems by comparing them with Diana’s. And in turn, Akko made a vow that the heiress wouldn’t have to deal with her burdens on her own. That conversation immediately came to a halt when Akko realized the implications behind what she had said.

That she wanted to be there for Diana even after university. That she wanted to be by her side to deal with her dickwad of an aunt. 

They had all but confessed their feelings for one another. If anything, they always danced around their feelings for one another. They knew the other was gay—Akko had always been open about being bisexual, whereas Diana had nonchalantly said she’d be caught dead before finding men attractive. And Akko had lost count of the amount of times she caught Diana looking at her when she thought she wasn’t looking. And they’d always have these moments where there was some kind of _vibe._

Plus, this was definitely not the first time one of them has had to console the other in their dorm room. The only people they’ve ever been vulnerable to is with each other. Akko had even promised she would never talk about herself in a negative manner. For Diana’s sake.

“S-Sorry, it kinda slipped out, y’know? But still… you didn’t have to do all that,” Akko shifted away, off Diana’s shoulder, so she could bring her legs up onto the bed and lay down. She stared at the ceiling, doing her utmost to avoid the solemn blue eyes looking at her. 

“You fail to give yourself the credit you truly deserve. You should already know by now that I would be willing to do more than give you pickled plums,” Akko felt a shuffle on the bed as Diana turned to her. “You deserve them, you dolt.” 

Akko stifled a laugh. Immediately, she felt the urge to deny that, but as she looked up to Diana, the way the blonde looked at her really did make her feel important. 

“You’ve worked hard this semester. It’s evident in your improvement. Don’t you think you deserve _some_ time to be happy? To relax?” 

“Says _you._ I literally told you the exact same thing, like, two weeks ago, you weenie,” Akko scoffed. _Word for word, too._

Diana stared back at her with an unamused expression. It was then Akko had realized it was intentional. 

“Ah. I’m a hypocrite.” 

Diana smiled, suppressing a small giggle that made Akko’s stomach flutter. 

“Hey, Diana?” Akko whispered. Her heart soared at the way Diana’s head tilted ever so slightly in response. 

“Hm?”

Slowly, Akko shifted in her bed and leaned up, wrapping her arms around Diana and pulling her into a hug. Diana was still sitting at the side with her feet planted on the floor. 

Despite having initiated two hugs in the past twenty minutes, Akko couldn’t help but chuckle at the way Diana stiffened in her arms. Diana’s hands were placed sheepishly by Akko to keep her from pressing her entire weight on the shorter girl. 

“Akko… this is a rather compromising position, is it not?” Diana said as she dug her fingers into Akko’s sides, blushing furiously as she leaned against the shorter girl in a somewhat awkward position. 

“You’re the one who said you’d practically do anything for me.” 

Diana didn’t respond. Instead, the taller girl buried her face into Akko’s shoulder at a poor attempt to hide a flushed face.

Akko threaded her fingers through Diana’s hair, too exhausted to overthink too much about personal space and the way the blonde’s heart pounded against her own chest. She merely stifled a chuckle at Diana’s response, then the two fell into silence. Akko quietly spoke up.

“Can we stay like this? Just for a bit?” Akko sighed contentedly as Diana adjusted her position slightly, leaning her head against the crook of Akko’s neck as she clutched to her waist. The strands of Diana’s hair tickled Akko’s nose as she moved. “I’m gonna pass out any second, you could leave right after.” 

“Alright,” Diana whispered. She pulled her feet up from where they were planted on the floor (taking her shoes off somewhere along the process because she’s not an animal), before settling into a more comfortable position. Akko took the opportunity to turn, ever so slightly and slowly, so that Diana was no longer on top of her. 

The two continued to talk. About everything and nothing at once. About the glow in the dark stars Akko had put on her ceiling, and how a few of them seemed to grow more and more dim after each of Diana’s visits. How Akko could count each and every one of the cheap glow in the dark stars multiple times most nights and still can’t fall asleep. How Akko’s mind would be bombarded with the stress of school and parents _and school._ But with Diana in her arms, she felt like she could fall asleep any second.

“Goodnight, Akko,” Diana whispered as Akko began to drift off.

“Ngh,” was all Akko was able to let out, before falling asleep in Diana’s arms. 

She had only reached 7 out of her 24 glow in the dark stars.

  


**Author's Note:**

> yeah so university fucking sucks take me back to high school when i cried over getting anything below 90 LMAO (art will be posted when i wake it bc its currently 5AM i,,,)
> 
> comments are v much appreciated <3


End file.
